When a Parent Has a Mental Health Condition: What Children Experience and What Helps

This entry draws on a 2025 handout from Kids’ Turn San Diego, a nonprofit that has helped San Diego families through separation and divorce since 1996, and summarizes the conditions it describes. Hershon Law recommends Kids’ Turn San Diego to parents and children going through a separation; its family workshops and co-parenting programs are among the most useful resources in the county.

When a parent lives with a mental health condition, the question in a custody case is rarely the diagnosis itself. It is how the condition shows up in a child’s daily life, and what structure can be put in place so the child has stability regardless. The descriptions below are general; only a qualified clinician can diagnose anyone, and a label alone says little about how a particular parent functions. What the handout does well is pair each condition with the kind of support that helps children, and that is what matters when a parenting plan is being written.

Six conditions and their effect on children

Bipolar disorder

A mood disorder with cycles of high energy, called mania, and low energy, or depression.

What children may experience: Routines and the parent’s level of involvement may be inconsistent from one period to the next.

What helps: Treatment, a clear co-parenting plan, and stable routines give children predictability.

Borderline personality disorder

A condition involving intense emotions, sensitivity in relationships, and fear of abandonment.

What children may experience: Children may feel caught in emotional highs and lows, or in struggles over the boundary between parent and child.

What helps: Therapy for the parent, strong boundaries, and calm, consistent communication help children feel secure.

Cluster B personality disorders

A group of conditions, including borderline, narcissistic, histrionic and antisocial personality disorders, that often involve emotional intensity, conflict, or unpredictable behavior.

What children may experience: Children may feel caught in the middle of conflict or experience inconsistent parenting styles between households.

What helps: Co-parenting structures, professional guidance, and shielding children from adult conflict promote security.

Narcissistic personality disorder

A condition involving an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and difficulty with empathy.

What children may experience: Children may feel their needs are overlooked, or may be drawn into loyalty conflicts between parents.

What helps: Child-focused decision-making, boundaries, and keeping conflict away from the children protect their well-being.

Schizophrenia

A serious illness affecting thinking, perception, and behavior, sometimes with hallucinations or delusions.

What children may experience: If symptoms are not managed, children may be confused or frightened by behavior they do not understand.

What helps: Medication, therapy, and a structured co-parenting plan provide stability and reassurance.

Schizoaffective disorder

A condition that combines symptoms of schizophrenia with mood symptoms such as depression or mania.

What children may experience: Shifts in mood and perception can make caregiving unpredictable.

What helps: Ongoing treatment, a support network, and reliable co-parenting routines reduce instability for children.

The pattern

Read the six entries together and the same answers repeat: treatment for the parent, a parenting plan with clear structure, consistent routines, boundaries, and keeping adult conflict away from children. Those are things a custody order can actually provide. A parenting plan can specify exchange times and locations, communication methods, who makes which decisions, and what happens if a parent is unable to care for the child during a difficult period. None of that requires the court to decide whether a diagnosis is correct; it requires the parents, or the court, to plan for the child’s stability.

A parent who is managing a condition with treatment is in a very different position from one who is not, and the plan should recognize that. A parent on the other side of the case who is worried about the child should bring specific, dated observations of what the child has experienced, not a diagnosis offered from across the courtroom.

If you or a co-parent is in crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which is available at all hours.